I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Randomize
