Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
