before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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