Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
if i died would you start the facebook group?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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