Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
