Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Randomize