I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
