Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
