Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
