He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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