I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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