Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize