I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
