I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
