Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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