dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
