Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
