Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
