Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
