Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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