How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
