Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
