Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
