you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
