What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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