I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
