I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
