We're like a lot better than the average bears
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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