well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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