we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
