I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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