I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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