You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
