I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
