Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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