If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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