This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
