once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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