dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We named our party play list daddy issues
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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