I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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