I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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