4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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