Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
