everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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