:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
