is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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