she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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