I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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