Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
