6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize