you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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