You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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