He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
