it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
