Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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